as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
