The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It's just like the Real World with babies
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize