lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
