Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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