I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
