I heard we made out
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
