So drunk its hurt
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
