"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
