five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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