It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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