Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.