At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him