before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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