just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
