OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
