How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
