This is not my ceiling
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
