i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
