Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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