Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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