Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
