You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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