so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
