there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
