I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
