you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
