The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
