her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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