I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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