I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
