Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
