I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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