I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize