Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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