May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
