and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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