so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
