and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
