mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
