We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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