but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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