addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
