69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sext me about skeletons
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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