My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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