Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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