Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
