Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
