Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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