it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize