Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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