dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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