Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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