This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
