Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
