why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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