her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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