I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
