Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Do vagina's smell?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
