Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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