i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
