No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
