the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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