I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize