You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
