after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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